


Let me forget

by TheNobody



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Canonical Character Death, Gen, How Do I Tag, Mindwiping, No Romance, OOC Harry, One-Shot, Sirius Black Dies, Suicide, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 07:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6319522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNobody/pseuds/TheNobody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sirius died, Harry decides that remembering isn't worth it. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let me forget

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first try at writing. This is also what you get by combining a crazy idea and a teenager at 2 o'clock in the morning. And a laptop, but that's not important.

Harry doesn’t remember how he got out of the Ministry Atrium. He doesn’t remember how he got out of the Ministry. He doesn't remember how he had got out without Dumbledore or anyone else blocking his path.  
But he knows he had cried at some point.  
The tears had just slipped. He doesn’t ever recall crying before. Even when Dudley was hitting him. Even when he was all alone in his cupboard. Even when Cedric died. Even when he was just a boy searching for his uncle and aunt's approval and never getting it. He always buried the emotions deep inside. Because crying was useless.  
So why was he crying? 

 

Because Sirius was dead. He hadn’t been able to help him from dying.  
Then Harry realised something.  
It was his fault Sirius died.  
He wasn’t able to keep him from falling into the veil. He wasn’t able to do anything to prevent this. He caused this. He wasn’t able to keep Bellatrix Lestrange from cursing Sirius.

It was his fault he died.

He didn’t know how much time he spent sitting on the bench in the park near the phone-booth-turned-secret-elevator-passage,ignoring the few muggles that shot him worried and apprehensive looks. He didn’t remember how much time he spent staring off in open space with just this thought playing in loop over and over again. The tears had dried at some point. He was sure he would make himself mad, but he would like to. Just to forget. No. That would be like killing himself, like taking the easy way out. But the more he thought about it, the more the thought seemed appealing to him. 

So he took his wand out, pointed it at himself, and whispered:  
"Obliviate." 

It was like time was passing in slow motion. He felt his memories fading and disappearing. Him and Voldemort in the Atrium. When the magic from the spell reached a memory of him and Sirius in Grimmauld Place, he tried to stop it. Felt regret. He failed at cancelling the spell.

His last thought was: "I finally managed to clear my mind". He smiled at the irony and went under.

All he knew was that he couldn’t remember anything. He fell into unconsciousness.  
Two minutes later, a boy in a park woke up. He didn’t remember having memories. There were things he knew without knowing how he acquired this information. It was night outside. The stars were particularly bright that night. He named a few of them just to distract himself. Not sure how he knew them. But when he reached Sirius, the dog star, brightest star in the universe, he felt a pang of sadness in his heart. He didn’t know why. 

All he knew was the calm emptiness in his blank mind.

**Author's Note:**

> So, how is it? English is my third language, any spelling, grammar, or any other help would be appreciated. Thanks for reading. Tell me if it seems rushed.
> 
> BTW Harry knows the name of a few stars because of his Astronomy class.
> 
> If anyone wants, I could continue this. But I'm pretty sure no one does, so whatever.


End file.
